Things that Make Me Suspicious
some hot takes on congregational shenanigans
Here are some things (in no particular order) I find some of you are doing in your congregations that make me suspicious of your self-declared congregational health:
You say you don’t need a congregational covenant.
And you are still excusing the bad behavior of that one member.
You want more families but children go directly to classes, not worship.
You want more families but you have no intergenerational events.
You don’t seem to like each other very much.
Taking donations and pledges electronically is welcome, but no one can be paid or reimbursed electronically.
The process to get a check written, signed, and sent requires multiple forms, multiple steps, and 6-8 weeks.
No one seems to know how anything gets done; your response is “ask the admin.”
You call yourself ‘historically lay led’ but you’ve had a minister consistently since 1830.
You celebrate all the justice work you’ve done, but most of it requires the minister to lead, often alone.
You say all are welcome, as long as they don’t say ‘God’ or ‘prayer’ or ‘Jesus’ from the pulpit.
You struggle to spend money today on staff and programming that will help you grow because you’re afraid of not having money for staff and programs in some imagined future.
You spend more time criticizing the facilitators, coaches, and consultants you’ve hired than following the process you hired them to help you through.
You evaluate your ministers and staff through a corporate lens.
All of your social events are fundraisers.
No one stays in coffee hour because they don’t want to be asked to do yet another thing.
New congregants are told they have to ‘get our culture’ with no discussion about what that culture is.
You don’t treat others as though you center Love.
I hate it when I see these things happening, because they are counter-productive to what it means to be in a faith community. Especially when none of these things are hard to fix. They do, however, take focus, and intention, and a willingness to be each day a little better.
Come on, folks. Isn’t your congregation worth the time and effort?
First of all, I actually laughed out loud reading "but you've had a minister since 1830." All of this is SO TRUE and I've encountered all of these things in different congregations. (I don't think I've encountered all of them in a single congregation, thank goodness). I hope the folks who need to read this will read this.