Interruptions and Outbursts

out of politics comes a lesson for congregations

My mind is consumed this morning with last night’s presidential debate - the content of which I’m not going to go over here, because so many others have done so/are doing so with more than sufficient details, clarity, and snark.

What I am going to mention briefly (and then head off to an overbooked day) is a connection I made while reading live Reddit and live Facebook comments (because second hand is how I like to watch the former president). This is a connection some of you are not going to like - especially those of you who regularly feel called out here at Hold My Chalice.

What I noticed was how many people were frustrated by the moderators’ not muting Trump’s mic and letting him have the last word… over and over. People were annoyed that he seemed to get away with it - that the moderators gave him special treatment. And the numbers bear that out - according to MSNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle (as reported by Heather Cox Richardson in her Substack this morning), “he spoke 39 times for a total of 41.9 minutes, to [Harris’s] 23 times for a total of 37.1 minutes.”

And the moderators let him do it. They let him interrupt and yell at her. Yes, they fact checked in real time (thank all that’s holy), and they let him hoist himself on his own petard, but there was a sense that the debate’s leadership deferred to him because…reasons.

So now, imagine this was a motion about something important in a congregational meeting, and we generally like the two people discussing it, and one is a lay leader (Sue) and one hasn’t been a leader for ages but has been a member for decades and has some reputational power (Bob). And let’s say there is a behavioral covenant (or some such expectation) in place, and the parliamentarian has made the process for the meeting clear, but the moderator lets Bob talk over Sue, and tell mistruths about the motion, and ignore the time limits.

There’s grumbling in the pews, and the parliamentarian is trying to shut it down. But the moderator says “oh, it’s just Bob. It’s okay.” And everyone knows that Bob always gets a pass for behaving poorly, so they just let him keep doing it, knowing no one actually believes him and they’re going to vote for Sue’s motion.

And everyone is still annoyed that no one holds Bob to account. So mistrust and frustration brew - mistrust of the moderator, mistrust of the parliamentarian, mistrust of the system. I’m shaking my head wondering why we still give the Bobs of our congregations a pass.

Beloveds.

This matters. This is how mistrust and ultimately contempt get seeded. I know, because I kinda get why people mistrust the media this morning, if they can’t even control a debate.

Let’s be better than that. Let’s show we can be trusted to hold everyone in our congregations to our shared agreements. Love each other. Be subject to one another. Honor each other. Behave as though others matter.