Fake Fights

letting go of what will not help us now

Fake fights.

These words are front and center in my conversations these days.

I first heard them in relationship to congregations from Rev. Nancy McDonald Ladd, in her sermon at the UUA General Assembly in 2016. She spoke passionately then about how we must stop focusing on the “fake fights we waste our time on,” as others struggle against injustice. Instead, we should be focused on “real struggles and real battles” and not “confined by the smallness of our loving.” She continued: “The world does not need another place where like-minded liberals hang out and fight about who is in charge. … we need to lean into the real fights of our age. … And we cannot do that holy work together unless we are really willing to set aside our own need to win and reach out our hands and seek the deeper understanding that comes with difference.”

Y’all.

What is up with all the nonsense this week? People complaining about the silliest things in worship (my favorites were too many verses of a song and the use of a large mobile device)… people raising non-issues in meetings to make them issues, or worse, using this week’s meeting to go Chicken Little about the budget/membership numbers/volunteerism… staff and volunteers full-on quitting for seemingly minor reasons… and congregations holding on too hard to behaviors and arguments that are at best uncovenantal and at worst keeping people fearful.

Now some of these fights are real, and are grounded in real concerns (not the song), but … come on, people. In case you missed it, WE ARE ON FIRE.

Not ‘we can see the fire from a distance’ but on fire right now. Hell, ask anyone who’s queer, or an immigrant, or trans, or struggling to make ends meet, or a journalist, or not-a-dude, or disabled, or young, or black, or Latino/Latina, or frankly human. The world has been on fire for a while, and it’s about to get worse.

It’s been promised. We know what is possible and what is likely.

But sure let’s moan about volunteers for coffee hour. Let’s grouse about membership numbers. And yes, please keep rehashing the conflict that started years ago that almost everyone forgot about except you keep bringing it up. Also, let’s fuss about the children in worship. And my god, please bitch about the distractions of that person’s iPad or voice or outfit or hair color or or or or…

I’m so tired of the fake fights.

Nancy warned us eight years ago that we needed to get past them so that we’d be able to take on the real fights of survival and justice and dignity.

Now more than ever, we have got to resolve those fights. We have got to let go of our individual complaints. We have got to get past what keeps us apart. We have to stop thinking the way capitalism and consumerism wants us to think. We have to stop putting self first.

If we don’t, we are never going to be able to topple autocratic power. If we don’t, we are never going to be useful in a nation staring down fascism. If we don’t, we are never going to be empowered to protect and support the people who need us most.

And if we don’t, what even is the point of faith? However you frame your beliefs, the world’s religions (at least these not bent on destruction) are clear about loving our neighbor, doing good in the world, loving this planet and all its inhabitants.

So stop with the fake fights already, and let’s suit up.

Break’s over. We have work to do.