I’ve heard some odd things lately - about the religious educator who purposely excluded some teachers because of (insert -ism here)… about the staff who created an event purposely to piss off the founders… about the minister who accepted a new call in order to be a bully… about the board who has secret meetings to overthrow whatever it is they are overthrowing maybe…
And I just don’t get it.
The nut of each of these theories is is the belief that someone they have hired or elected to positions of service and authority are coming in with evil intent, just to screw with you. That everyone has a hidden agenda and they’re wielding power just to forward their agenda, which clearly is wrongheaded and terrible and will bring the congregation to ruin.
:::blink blink:::
Where the bloody hell is that coming from? Are you kidding me with this?
Look. I know it’s an anxious time, on top of anxious time on top of anxious time. The 21st century has been pretty shitty. Of course we’re agitated, and a little freaked out, and we’re all holding a lot of trauma, anxiety, and fear.
And we need our congregations to be places of hope and meaning and peace in the midst of all this. But some of you aren’t acting like it.
Has trust been destroyed?
No, really. Are we in a time when no one trusts anyone or anything, even in those places we expect to be (and work hard to be) safe?
Now I know we don’t much like to talk about “best intent” when we’re doing our anti-racism/anti-oppression work - because we know that impact matters more than intentions. But there is a place for best intentions: and that is when we call or hire religious professionals, and when we elect or appoint leaders. They aren’t running (or interviewing) to screw someone over. They are running (or interviewing) because they believe in the congregation, in the mission and vision, and they want to be part of that. They do not go in to ruin it all for anyone.
They take those positions to be part of something special and help it be a little better each day.
Seriously.
Those of you who suddenly thing the staff or leadership are purposely being bad or doing something purposely to offend someone - haven’t you met them? Didn’t you hire (or elect) them? Aren’t they already familiar? Haven’t they already shown their commitment to the congregation and their aspirations to be part of your vision?
Is it possible that your existential anxiety (that thing we all feel) and your focused anxiety on a particular issue might be clouding your judgment?
It might be time to take a breath, and maybe a break, and follow Parker Palmer’s advice to ‘turn to wonder’ - ask yourself what’s more likely true, why you’re having this reaction, what’s going on with you.
Because I’m pretty sure the religious educator and the minister and the board member are just doing their jobs. And they’d rather not have to deal with your conspiracy theories too.
My son calls it the circular firing squad. My suggestion is that we step out of it and stop thinking about ourselves for a moment, even if we don’t want to consider what others are thinking or feeling or needing. Just stay with the void for a while and then re-set.