Because We Need Each Other
a brief reflection as summer unfolds (and some news at the end)
Last week, the Unitarian Universalists held their General Assembly (GA). It was all virtual, which meant people gathered online or in pods; because of my work, I had a chat group of colleagues who, in the past, have joined me on the back row of the main hall during general sessions, and so we gathered in our own “back row” to share our thoughts and opinions and laughter.
I couldn’t have imagined how important it was going to be, having them on the other end of a group text, as we tackled some really hard issues.
Now, as expected, the Article II conversations were not that hard - it was a fair bit of shouting, but in the end, the new wording passed with a confident 80.2%. (Higher than I personally expected, and now I owe Kevin a drink.)
What was hard were other things:
First was a business resolution affirming our active work to embrace transgender, nonbinary, intersex and gender-diverse people as a fundamental expression of our religious values - an act that strengthens our position as we support the fight against anti-trans legislation not just on legal but religious grounds. Yes, it passed decisively.
Second was a pair of actions: an action of immediate witness calling for solidarity with Palestinians, and a responsive resolution calling for the freeing of Israeli hostages taken on October 7. Yes, they passed, again, decisively.
But these were highly charged, highly divisive, and full of hurtful commentary. It was in many ways shocking to hear the separation and disconnect; the virtual air was filled with distress and in some cases contempt. Some wondered aloud if there was still a place for them in our faith, which broke my heart.
I thought a lot about the slogan for the UU Ministers Association, “Because We Need Each Other” and how our faith calls us to connect over differences to affirm things commonly valued between us.
And then I thought about a passage from James Baldwin’s 1964 essay “Nothing Personal.” It is a long, beautiful essay, reflecting on what is happening in ‘the unloved streets’ and the sense of despair and isolation in the world. It’s an essay very much worth reading; toward the end, he writes
“One discovers the light in darkness, that is what darkness is for; but everything in our lives depends on how we bear the light. It is necessary, while in darkness, to know that there is a light somewhere, to know that in oneself, waiting to be found, there is a light. What the light reveals is danger, and what it demands is faith.
…
The moment we cease to hold each other, the moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out.”
There are so many things that might cause us to break faith with one another, so many things trying to keep us from connection.
But this is why, in our Article II revisions, we put Love at the center. Love in, and around, and among, and because of, and causing all the rest of the values we named: justice, equity, transformation, pluralism, interdependence, and generosity.
Love - not more arguments - but love.
The Reverend JeKaren Olaoya knew that, somehow, as she closed the debate period for the business resolution. Instead of refuting the debunked science, instead of calling out the harmful language and harmful attitudes, she used her last 90 seconds to bring love. Love certainly and aimed at our trans beloveds, but enveloping all of us:
"To my trans non-binary intersex or gender diverse beloveds: lean in. Lean In. I love you. I love you. I love you. Please do not leave the space without feeling my love and the love of others Who see you as divine. I love you. You are divine. I love you. You are Holy. I love you. You know who you are. I love you. You are worthy of being whoever you need to be to survive and thrive in this world. I love you and I will say it for 50 seconds if I need to. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Love you. I love you. Do not leave the space without knowing that you are loved. if you Need a reminder, call me, email me, text me. what we will Not do in this space is let you go another moment, believing anything other than the fact that you are loved."
We need one another, and love is what holds us together. It’s the only way we keep the light burning.
In case you missed it, a fantastic new collection of rituals has been published, and I’m in it! It’s called Blessing It All, edited by Allison Palm and Heather Concannon, and it’s filled with personal, small group, and congregational rituals for all kinds of moments in our lives. Go buy it now!
And finally, I will be taking two weeks off from here starting next week.
I know, I know, I just took a break from writing, and now I’m about to take another one. But the difference is this: the previous break was for work, which was already busy and was about to become even busier, with classes and ordinations and meetings and workshops.
This time it’s because I’m flat out exhausted, and on Sunday, my time with the good people at Community UU Congregation in White Plains, NY, comes to an end. My next two weeks will be filled with a lot of sleep, reading, walks, sleep, hanging with the cats, a bit of trivia, sleep, and did I mention sleep? I know some of you subscribed in the last couple of months, and I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you all with some well-rested content on July 17.
Blessings!
No apologies necessary! Your words are valued for their qualities - deep, wise, and candid - not their quantity.
Self-care is so important. No apologies necessary.